20 Haziran 2019 Perşembe

amazon highlights: Always Know What To Say / Peter Murphy / 2011

What is in the Way of Developing Great Conversation Skills?

There are four keys to getting results with this material:

1. Be Aware and Make a Choice

2. Notice Which Negative Habits You Have

3. Set New Behavioral Goals

4. Aim for Step by Step Improvement

The 10 Negative Habits that Limit Conversation Skills

1. Negative Attitudes: People are difficult to talk to, Socializing is frivolous, No time to meet people, Socializing is careless spending

2. Lack of Purpose : No objective when meeting people, No common goals with people, No performance objectives, No long term outlook

3. Overlook Importance of Social Connections: Not looking for more friends, Meeting people is a low priority, Excessive alone time, Procrastinating about meeting people

4. Conversation Fear: Sensitive to criticism, Fear of rejection, Poor selection of social events, Poor selection of people

5. Feeling Unresourceful: Expecting the worst, Replaying past failures, No exit plan, Lack of motion

6. Limited Opportunities for Practice: Rarely meet new people, Sticking with friends, Avoid new places

7. Limited Range of Conversation Topics: Narrow range of interests, Not up to date with local happenings, Lack of curiosity, Slow to share opinions

8. Reactive Behavior: Never initiate gatherings, Rarely approach new people, Always waiting for the right moment, Reluctance to take control

9. Timid Lifestyle: Rarely attend group events, Habitual patterns of socializing, Avoiding the new and unknown, Never lead the group

10. Inadequate Preparation: Lack of conversation topics, Unprepared for meeting people, Poor dress sense, Physical comfort overlooked

The Love and Connection Daily Practice

1 Perform one act of kindness for a stranger

2 Who am I grateful for? List 10 people.

3 What do I love about myself? List 10 traits.

4 Who can I forgive today? List 10 people.

How to Approach Someone to Start a Conversation

Decide to like people, Know that your happiness does not depend on how someone else responds, Know the response you want and adjust your approach until you get it, Forget about 100% success

9 Great Ways to Confidently Approach Anyone  

1.   Shyness doesn't pay. Being timid and shying away amongst the crowd really doesn't pay off these days. While sitting amongst your friends and listening to their conversations, teach yourself to not only be a listener but to participate more.

2.   Make sure that you contribute and offer your response to the conversation. By doing this you will in time gain confidence to start conversation topics with strangers, not just with those you are familiar with.

3.   Preparation is the key! One of the qualities that make a great public speaker is the simple yet effective ability to be listened to! While alone stand in front of the mirror, practice speaking, stand straight and tall, and talk at a good volume (not shouting).

4.   An assertive voice of authority will help to draw people to listen to you. In fact they won't have the choice not to!

5.   Make all eyes on you! If the person that you wish to start a conversation with has their back to you, don't wait for them to turn around: say their name or say hello to help draw their attention. By doing this you will help to get them listening to you. You will appear confident (even if inside you have butterflies)!

6.   Revise beforehand! - I don't mean turn into a nerd, you don't have to write it down and take a pen to paper. However you can simply have a map of your thoughts in your head, with the topic of conversation clearly planned out. Then on opening your mouth the words will flow, you won't be stuck in a mess of thoughts and ideas and you will be able to take the conversation just where you want it to go!

7.   Communication is a YES! Learn to understand that the very way that you communicate with people will be the deciding factor of just how successful you will be in this life. Use every interaction as an opportunity to improve. The very skill of being able to start a good conversation will help to take your life to higher limits!

8.   Sit and think are there any successful people in your life that are not able to start a conversation? Can you live your life in the shadows of others? See that success and happiness depends on being able to get along well with people.

9.   Nerves are what you make them! Teach yourself that nerves really are what you make of them. Don't allow nerves to escalate and hold you back. Many people have difficulty in starting a conversation with a stranger so don’t be so hard on yourself.

How to Stop Feeling Nervous When Meeting New People

Don't feel you have to impress, Don't go alone if you don't have to, Take a few deep breaths and smile, Go prepared, Dress comfortably, Stay true to yourself, Accept that some people won't like you

What to Say When Introducing Yourself to New People

Mention a mutual friend, Dive right in, The business deal, The flirt, Reminding them, Asking for directions

6 Easy Ways to Avoid Getting Stuck for Words

Finish previous topics of conversation, Observe before talking, If it doesn't make sense then don't say it! Ignore those whose ears don't tune in! Practice before you speak, Before talking take a deep breath

10 Interesting Topics of Conversation for Every Occasion

Who is the most interesting person you ever met? Where in the world would you most like to visit? What has been the most life-changing experience you've ever had? What is the most spontaneous thing you've ever done? Who's had the biggest influence on your life? What dream would you most like to make a reality? What is the best quality you've inherited from either of your parents? From which person have you learned most in your life? Which historical figures do you most identify with? What kind of music do you like?

How to Shine in Conversation with Listening Skills

1)   It would help if you feel empathy for the other party when you are listening. You will be able to absorb what the other person is saying better if you have empathy because the content will be close to your heart.

2)   Empathy is also important because if you have empathy, you will be able to form an association between the knowledge you value in your head and the content of the message of the other person. Look for the deeper meaning people express behind the words they use and you’ll find commonality in values, opinions and outlook.

3)   Avoid judging the delivery of the message and the person delivering the message, if possible. This allows you to focus on the content of the message rather than on the style of delivery.

4)   You can rely on some techniques to improve your level of comprehension of a spoken message.

5)   Maintain an active body state.

6)   Aim to get as much detail as you can from the person about the message.

7)  It helps if you are genuinely interested in the other person and the message.

8)   Ever heard the phrase 'one touch is equal to a thousand words'?

9)   To keep the conversational ball rolling, make an effort to ask the other party what his point of view or opinions are.

10)  You should also let the other person know what your own perspective or opinions are.

11)  If the other person has offended you somehow, be vocal about your displeasure but do not get angry.

12)  Maintain an objective stance regarding your reactions and the consequences of the actions of the other person.

13)  Do not try to own the conversation by dominating the flow and ignoring attempts by the other person to be heard.

14)  If the other party uses emotion-laden words, sieve through the message without reacting automatically to the emotion.

15)  Follow-up any resolution to the situation.

How to Use Body Language to Read People Like a Book

Eye contact is very important in communication, especially with new people. Posture says a lot about a person's personality and mood. The tilt of a person's head betrays their mood too. The placement of a person's arms says a lot about their personality and mood. Legs tell you a lot about the person you're speaking with, even when you have just met them. You will probably be able to sense right away if someone is deliberately angling their body away from you, even if you don't consciously process that thought.

Show People You Like Them and Make Friends with Ease

To present your positive self requires you to pay attention to how and what verbal and nonverbal communication you use. Whenever showing people you like them it's important to look like you are friendly. One of the quickest ways to let someone know you are not interested in them is to make "me" statements. When you want to show someone you like them focus on them.

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