Much of the hurt in our lives comes because we don't say what we want.
1. Keep it Simple and Direct.
2. Risk Offending for the Right Reasons.
3. Always Apologize When You're Wrong.When you have to say the right thing that might hurt, try your best to keep it short. If you can use the other person's logic to show why the right thing is better, then you can probably win over the world to your leadership. And if you can say what you mean regularly, your people will always be able to trust you. Why? Because you won't be full of surprises. They'll know you'll tell them the truth. And they'll see you as a problem solver.
Chapter Two: How to Be Consistent in an Ever-Changing World
When you're a leader, people look to you to make decisions. They want to know what is on the agenda for today. What's the plan? What direction are we going? Why are we here? If you want to establish your authority, you've got to be able to answer those questions.
1. Decide what's important and what isn't. Remember, having a map will get you somewhere faster than not having one will.
2. Make the decisions that match your stated priorities - and don't ever back down.
3. Always do what you say you will no matter what. The mark of a mature leader is that she doesn't let life's irritations, inside or outside the workplace, deter her from her goals.
4. Plan ahead for how you'll handle conflicts and challenges. While you can't plan for everything, you can budget for uncertainties.When your team knows what to expect from you, they'll feel more secure. They may not like you, but they'll know they can trust you. They might even think you're mean, but they'll never be able to say you're unfair or that you're a liar.
Chapter Three: How to Get Along When You Don't See Eye to Eye
The Biggest Barrier to Progress
1. understand that you can't get along with everybody.
2. realize that you can't agree with everyone about everything.
3. you aren't going to like everybody.
Getting Along With Those Who Disagree With You
1. Listen to what she has to say, without judging.
2. Respect her enough to see her opinion is as valuable as yours.
3. Find the common ground and make your moves from there.
Chapter Four: When is Change Worth Arguing About?
3 Ways to Pick Your Battles WiselyFirst, ask yourself, “Is it important enough to fight about?”
“Will doing this someone else's way be wrong?”
“Will taking this risk be worth it?”
Chapter Five: How to Respect a Coworker You Don't Like and Still Move Forward
Three Reasons Why You Should Forget You Can't Stand That Annoying Coworker1. As people, they have value.
2. Everyone's opinion matters.
3. Remember that when you don't like a suggestion someone makes, she may be right.
Now Move Ahead
Chapter Six: Set Boundaries that Empower People and Avoid Conflict
3 Ways Rules Help You Make the Most of Your OrganizationFirst, they can empower people to do their jobs better.
Second, rules remove the need for conflict over those areas that are already clear.
Third, they provide leaders a framework to better do their own job of assessing their people's performance.
Chapter Seven: How to Transform Conflict into OpportunityConflict is part of life, like it or not. No matter how well you plan out your life, it probably won't turn out exactly as you planned. When it comes to work, we engage in conflict for three main reasons. The first is enforcement of a rule, policy, or standard. The second reason we fight is to set a new standard. The third reason we fight is to grow. How can you be sure you don't make the conflict personal and abusive?
First, make use of "I" statements. For example, rather than say, "You make me angry", you would say, "I feel angry about this."
Second, don't characterize someone's arguments.
Third, listen intently.
Leaders are listeners. They listen because they are learners. And since you can only learn so much from yourself, you need other people to make you sharper. So let others have their say – and listen intently.
When you have a conflict, do your best to keep it short. When it's over, you need to clean up quickly.
Margaret Heffernan, bestselling author and businesswoman said, "For good ideas and true innovation, you need human interaction, conflict, argument, debate."
Chapter Eight: Conflict is Bound to Happen. Are You Ready?
The world is always changing.
Chapter Nine: The Best Leaders Focus on Three Simple Things
The Good of the Organization: When you let people know they matter, and that you are after the good of the organization, there's almost no limit to what you can accomplish.
Zero Tolerance for People Spreading Poison: Let Them Know You Care Today