1.
Introduction
Psychology
was about finding what is wrong with you. The problem was, that we knew very
little about things like happiness, success, goal achievement, positive habits,
motivation, and so on. First, I will go over the three major flaws of a lot of
the advice that can be found out there:
* The advice is anecdotal. This is
advice that is coming from a “this worked for me, so it must work for you”
perspective. While this could be the case, more often than not the person
giving the advice lacks a complete understanding of why it worked for them. “positive thinking”, or “just do it”-type of
advice. Yes, that works great…! If you know how to do it!! Their realization is
that “positive thinking works!”. But for the person on the receiving end,
advice such as “Think positive!”, or “Just do it!”, may be as useful as someone
telling them to “grow taller”. Personally I’d love to do that, I just wish that
they could also explain to me how I can do it…
* The advice lacks evidence that supports it. This is the case with
a lot of the conventional wisdoms out there that hasn’t been tested
scientifically. The biggest traps lie in advice that really “feels right” – or
worse, it “feels good” – but where the truth actually lies in the opposite
direction.
* The advice is incomplete or over-simplified. This is somewhat
related to the first point. Often when people give advice (again including
people with lengthy experience in the field of giving advice), they are not
fully aware of the other factors that also affected their outcome. But even in
the case of science there is often a lack of user-friendly, step-by-step,
complete systems. The science of motivation doesn’t really touch on the science
of habits, or the science of willpower. And the science of happiness doesn’t
really go into detail about goal setting. And so on.
2. Write
it down!
“Paper is to write
things down that we need to remember. Our brains are used to think.” ~ Albert
Einstein
The
first scientific principle behind successful goal setting that I will explain,
is about the importance of writing your goals down, using a pen and a workbook.
Gail Matthews, PhD at Dominican University, therefore set out to test the
hypothesis. she did find that people who write down their goals achieve
significantly more, regardless of the nature of their goal, than those who just
keep it all in their head. writing things down with pen and paper is more
efficient than typing it into a document on a computer. The conclusion: Writing
down your goals, as well as other things related to your goal achievement
process, in a physical workbook, journal, or diary, will increase your success
rate.
3. Know
Thyself
Self-awareness is integral to goal setting.
Seligman’s research: three main takeaways from his research,
which can be used when we are setting our goals.
* The
research shows that people who use their unique strengths in their life are
happier and more satisfied with their life than those who do not. * The
research also shows that people who use their unique strengths make more
progress towards their goals. * Finally, the research shows that people who use
their strengths for a purpose greater than their own goals are happier than
those who don’t.
In order to maximize
your chances of reaching your goal(s), you should identify your individual
strengths and then make sure that you utilize them in your journey towards your
goal. If you do this successfully, you will also become happier. And if you
really want to take it to the ultimate level, you want to make sure that your
goals involve some form of contribution to others.
4. Be
Happy
“Happiness is not about
making it to the peak of the mountain, nor is it about climbing aimlessly
around the mountain: happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak” ~
Tal Ben-Shahar
Everyone
can learn to be happier. People who pursue goals are happier than those who do
not. Happiness involves both pleasure and meaning. Working hard towards a
future goal while making certain sacrifices, yet still making sure to sprinkle
in happiness activities throughout your daily life. Finding a goal that you
truly enjoy working towards. In essence, what this tells us, is to choose goals
that make us happy, and give us both pleasure and meaning, whether we achieve
them or not. If we can do this, we can move from becoming happy, to being
happy.
5. The
Truth About Motivation
The
fact is that motivation is fickle. It comes and goes, and there is little we
can do about it in the way of applying mental processes to it. Trying to “get
motivated” is, simply put, a wild goose chase.
The questions are
then: 1) How can we feel more motivated, more often, and for longer time
periods once that feeling comes over us? And 2) what are we supposed to do
during the times when we don’t “feel it”? The solution to the first question
lies in something called Temporal Motivation Theory (TMT). TMT boils down
motivation to a very simple equation.
Motivation = (Expectancy x Value) / (Impulsiveness x Delay)
Expectancy – This is how likely you think you are to achieve a
particular goal. By adjusting the goal, i.e. making it easier to reach, or by
building your confidence, you can increase your expectancy, and thus increase
your motivation.
Value – This is how much the outcome means to you. By reflecting on
your goals and what they actually mean to you, what pleasure and meaning you
will get out of reaching them, and adjusting them to make them more valuable to
you, you can increase your motivation.
Impulsiveness – This is how likely we are to get off track when
being distracted by various shiny objects. By working on strengthening your
willpower and by removing or reducing distractions, you can increase your
motivation.
Delay – This is how far into the future the reward, or outcome,
lies. Have you ever felt slightly more motivated by, for example, studying for
an exam that is tomorrow, than for one that is in two weeks? By designing goals
with the short-term in mind, or by breaking down your long-term goals into
sequential short-term goals and then shift your focus to these, you can
increase your motivation.
But what about the
second question? The solution to this lies in establishing behaviors that run
on auto-pilot, so that desirable tasks and actions gets carried out whether we
feel like doing them or not. I am sure you are familiar with this concept: It’s
called Habits. if you can shift your focus from “trying to get yourself
motivated” to identifying the smallest specific habit that is required for you
to reach your goal(s), you will already have come a long way.
6. The
Positive Thinking Myth
Gabrielle
Oettingen, in her research at New York University and the University of
Hamburg, has, through over 25 years of rigorous studies, showed that the more
time people spend on visualizing having achieved their goal, the less likely
they are to actually take action towards that goal. The more time people spend
on visualizing having achieved their goal, the less likely they are to actually
take action towards that goal. So shift your focus from your goals to the
process, including the obstacles and challenges ahead of you, and how you can
overcome them.
7. Daily
Routines
“The secret of your
success is found in your daily routine.” ~ John C. Maxwell
Studies
at MIT University show that the most effective ways to create a new habit, or
to change existing habits, and get them to run on auto-pilot, is to create a
routine that is tied to the same time or scenario each and every time. our
self-control is the highest in the morning. your morning sets the tone for the
rest of the day, your evenings set the tone for your mornings!
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